I'm Selfish

Am I selfish? Yes, I really am.

One moment I care for people then I go back to my own worries. It varies, but it's definitely not consistent. My concerns for others, that is. I have a nonchalant view about many things and I don't act upon them. For instance, and many people probably could relate to this, it's like sending your prayers for people who are sick/in need, but you don't really do anything about it and move on. Apply that on a personal level and that's what I do.

Idk, I thought I opened up more but I guess I've gotten too much to the point where I don't keep in mind what I say and do anymore. I act before I think a lot. I don't really reason my actions until they happen and then I start questioning myself why did I do that. Embarrassing or regretful, I always look back at it right before I sleep (not everyday). Probably what fuels my insomnia tho :/

The things I've done may not have been horrible, but sometimes I have an ignorant, "idgaf" attitude (in my head) towards the things I do. Do I seem horrible now? Maybe. But yeah, I don't really show it. It's part of the reason why I didn't made much friends back in secondary school.

I feel bad (sometimes) that I don't keep myself in check in the right places & times. U could say, I should watch what I say and do more carefully now (with a more caring attitude). It's not like how my parents lecture me and tell me what I did wrong so I can fix it right away. My actions will still continue but now I know I need to put in more effort for longer lasting and deeper relationships. Even though others forgave me, it still lingers. I don't easily forget what people say to me about things (the worst side of me) pertaining to me. I guess you could say the selfishness is more of a human phenomenon but in this case, I just wanted to write it out and let others know of this experience.
Will I ever learn? I hope so and I'm working on it, but I'm still a working progress as I am with my work life, too.

Well then, I think that's enough thinking for today. If u hav any questions or comments plz let me know. One thing I do know for sure is that I like to hear and give advice to people in general. It lets me see from their perspectives and to learn from each other.
K, good night.