I introduce to you...

my little sister. A.k.a. my roommate.

She's a stubborn rebel who is taller and 4 years younger than me. She sleeps in the same room with me, and let me just say, we don't really have a sisterly kind of bond at all. The least i can say is that she's still a good person and follows most of our house rules.

Before college my parents, esp my mom, would always remind me to be a good role model for my little sister. And, i followed what she said til we grew older and started getting into petty arguments. There were times when she would scratch me like a cat and/or kick me. T__T (i confess, i did [fake] cried a bit to make my parents lecture her for me only cuz they were louder and more effective than me).

One time i argued about her playing on her laptop for too long and prolonging her hw........ somehow it resulted in her laptop falling to the ground and my sister facing my mom's wrath. My mom's pretty materialistic btw. She's the type if there's even a scratch on the car she'll scream at you and punish you one way or another. Fortunately. that laptop still works to this day, but you can't exactly bring it everywhere with you anymore ahahaha. So you can see how dominant she was over me in terms of stubbornness and strength. (i'm telling yall, something she ate as a toddler must've turn her into a hulk)

However, after my sister entered high school, she became more mature and i lectured her more effectively that wouldn't end with bruises and broken things (including myself). I realized i'm not always right and she's not always to blame, too. Mostly i think it's becuz she got spoiled (as such since she's the youngest) but now we both listen to each other's opinions and advice.

So even though we still argue, we're both more blatant, chill, and less violent. Recently, i've been giving her a lot of advice about how to survive in my old high school and it makes me happy when she listens to me.
One thing I remembered when she was born, i was so curious about how she looked like that i tried to climb up on my mother's bed to see her in her crib. I was pretty impatient (even now), but i gradually grew fond of her and did my best to make sure she had a great example to follow becuz my parents used to work almost every day for more than 10 hrs. Having her with me also makes me secure and lean on her since idk when my grandma who practically raised us will leave. *tears*

Anywho~~ i just wanted to write a random topic so i went for a personal story. Hope u guys enjoyed it. Bai

What's annoying to hear?

That our generation is the worst, spoiled, and reckless.

So recently i've been watching some academia videos on YouTube, and i browsed into one talking about generation gaps. He said it is not justifiable to generalize our whole generation for just a few people that you thought was 'bad.' Plus, not all of us have access to technology or the freedom to their right, which I TOTALLY AGREE WITH.

After watching the video, i looked at the comments and agreed how some of us are really spoiled, including myself. That may be due to bad parenting or being ignorant of things, but whatever the reason, EVERY generation has faced troubles. May not be the same ones, but we (and other generations) have experienced similar innate struggles across time.

True, we live in a more integrated world, but not everyone in one generation has the same luxury as some like me. My parents were fortunate enough to come here as immigrants and give a better life for me and my little sister. I am grateful for that, however, i don't like to hear that my generation has it 'easier.' Of course doing work is more efficient to do now, making things process faster; our previous generations made these technological innovations so we can live that life! Every generation before that generation have supported and helped make their future family live in a better world.

I admit, i do judge people on their appearance and first impression greetings, but people have done the same to me, too. I can't really blame them for judging and hating me if they already have the wrong idea about my character. Or maybe they just don't like my personality. Cool, that's fine. I don't care. Let's move on. But, I'm still working on trying to get away from first impressions because i want to approach new people. I get surprised by people's past experiences and hobbies that are different from what i expected. It's a great feeling to be able to socialize with friendly people. It's just the non-friendly or shy ones that i have trouble connecting with. Like i said, it's a work in progress for me.

Anyway, done ranting for today. Off to my drama~~

ADHD (maybe but not really?)

I get so distracted easily. Add memory loss to that and I will wander into Netherlands soon.

I don't know when it started but most likely it stemmed from not listening to my elders for a long time. Back then, i would always ignore whatever they said that i didn't like or was irrelevant to my life. Eventually, that spread to my school work and lectures too. One thing i do know is that my condition isn't that serious cuz i was able to get good grades by working hard. I'm no prodigy, but I had a really hard time trying to stay on topic. Even when i'm watching videos or reading stuff i like, i get so distracted that i start wondering about other things, such as, "Oh, this texture of the book/page is really smooth," or "This person looks old/hot/weird," or "Why did they even use this picture??!" Yeah, weird thoughts.

It's not like i don't purposefully pay attention to what people say (unless it's a teacher who is bad at teaching, but i'm not really one to blame). I'm just very slow at processing stuff, so it takes me a while to register the things that i'm not really as interested in my brain. I'm not consistent either, and u can tell from my grammar and the style i'm writing in right now. Ask one of my friends, and one of the things they'll say is that i do/say weird things too that may be excessively random or out of the box (good & bad).

I can't stay focused after reading a few sentences, but what's weird is that I love being surrounded by books. I always imagined having a huge shelf full of books (mostly mangas and novels :P) in my dream home. Before my local library went into renovation this past yr, i would always ask my mom to drive me there weekly. To be honest, i used to go there just to check out DVDs, esp. National Geographic ones (i was always intrigued by wild animals ^^). But, I liked being in that studious environment. It felt like I could gain a lot of knowledge if i just read a few pages of this and that of any subject. Oh, and another note: i'm not used to loud, flashing lights, and crowded areas. It gives me a headache really easily, esp things like karaoke or big parties. BUT, i try to save up as much energy as i can (by eating a lot and resting) beforehand so i can have as much fun as i can with my friends.

Anyway, i don't have a really serious case of ADHD, but i do have some symptoms of it that are 'treatable.' If you guys have any suggestions, comment below plzzz. For now, i'm just going to tame my brain and meditate. :D

~This is all self-diagnosis, so everything i say may or may not be true~